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 · · Wrath of Heaven

The Wrath of Heaven · May it afflict intermittent left-channel outages, and an audiophile neighbor who lives for operetta, on the gormless enthusiasts who maladjust the audio in the car-share cars so everything sounds like a Bad Hair Band ...
The Wrath of Heaven · May it afflict Dupuytren's contracture, hangnails, and other painful pathologies of the hand on every developer who screws with Control-A, -E, -F, -B, -N, or -P in any OS X app anywhere you can edit text. Firefox, I’m looking at you (but only when there’s a search box open at the bottom of the browser). StackOverflow, I’m looking at you. Seriously, you guys are peeing on sacred ground.
The Wrath of Heaven · May it inflict the endless shaving of mangy flea-bitten ill-tempered foul-smelling yaks on certain software designers, as a punishment for the misappropriation of keystrokes. For example, on my Mac, in virtually every program, control-E means “Position the cursor at the end of the line.” But in JIRA, it means “Silently and without any warning and without an undo function, discard everything I've entered into the current bug report.”
The Wrath of Heaven · May it visit endless delays, blocked airplane toilets, and hostile customs officials on three groups of airline professionals ...
Wrath of Heaven · May it visit shin splints, bunions, and Achilles’-tendon problems on conference organizers who don’t open the doors of keynote sessions until at or after the keynote time, leaving the thousands of people who want to attend standing lined up on the street, out in the cold damp San Francisco morning.
Wrath of Heaven · May it inflict flooding, scalding, and traumatic bathtub slippage on the hotel plumbers of the world, no two of whom can agree on which way you turn the Hot and Cold taps for “on” and “off”. Wait a second, let’s save some of that wrath for the residential plumbers as well.
The Wrath of Heaven · May it visit laryngitis, halitosis and a severe stutter on those vendors who describe disk drives, network routers, printers, computers, or pretty well anything that contains silicon and plugs in, as “solutions”. A disk drive is not a solution dammit, it’s a disk drive. This is so freaking retarded, can there be a living human being who believes anyone will be more willing to drop the $450 on their box because it’s described as a “storage solution”? Bah.
The Wrath of Heaven · May it curdle the milk and sour the beer of those who publish an extremely useful-looking API/Framework and when you get there, the intro says “The required platform binaries are listed in .” and the “downloads” link takes you into a maze of twisty little CVS passages. [Ed. note - the package in question is not one I’ve written about here before.]
The Wrath of Heaven · May it afflict a pox on the oxen and asses of those public service agencies who offer a useful online resource and change its address every six months for no discernible reason.
The Wrath of Heaven · May it fall with sulphurous fury on those who dispatch an administrative minion to a busy neighborhood coffee shop crowded with regulars dropping by for their efficiently-produced latte, 8:30-ish in the morning, and instruct said minion to fetch back eleven assorted coffee drinks, each one subtly-underspecified and requiring extended barista dialogue, and finally to pay with with a credit card.
author · Dad
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