May it visit endless delays, blocked airplane toilets, and hostile customs officials on three groups of airline professionals.
First, on those who advertise and sell airplane tickets between Vancouver and San Francisco with confidently-predicted departure and arrival times. In my experience, for a variety of reasons, the planes fail to depart and arrive on schedule on time well over 50% of the time. This seems odd; it’s not OK to advertise a bottle of wine as containing 750ml when in fact it contains much less; but apparently it’s OK to advertise a flight as arriving at 9:18AM when you know that the chances of this happening are much less than 50%. The airline industry is accountability-free.
Second, on the United Airlines officials who book many more travelers through Dulles airport than they can actually process in any sane amount of time. I’ve been through twice in the last year and observed people weeping and otherwise freaking out when they miss flights because they have to line up endlessly to check in and then again to get through security. Clearly, United Airlines knows that it cannot process the number of passengers corresponding to the number of tickets it sells in any reasonable amount of time, but it continues to inflict abuse on its customers. If you are flying out of Dulles, you need to arrive two hours in advance of your departure time, or you’re taking a big chance. The airline industry is accountability-free.
Third, on the designers of Terminal 1 at Toronto’s Pearson airport. It is a brutal, ugly, soul-crushing piece of architecture. Its sin is simple: it is simply much, much, much, too big. If you need a hallway to be twenty feet wide to accomodate the traffic, it’s fifty feet wide. If the ceiling needs to be thirty feet high, it’s over a hundred. If a window needs to be ten feet tall, it’s forty. Its roof, both arched and curved, ought to be graceful but is ugly simply because its scale is so vast, making the scurrying humans beneath seem ant-like. It favours a clean fascist-white-everywhere aesthetic over the use of anything so bourgeois as colour. Outside too; looking down from your airplane window, it’s an awkward graceless monstrous white turd. On top of which, it’s exhausting and time-consuming to walk from wherever you are to wherever you’re going.
Why does the airline business hate people?